It’s All Invented! How Our Personal Narratives Shape Us and the Future of Our Products by Kate Leto
As product managers we know that people buy stories and not our products. That’s why we aim to become great storytellers to influence how people act and interact. Yet, we rarely consider what stories we tell to ourselves. Whether it's an internal mantra like “I’m not any good at my job” or “If I want it done right, I have to do it,”. We each carry a “story” or set of narratives that influence how we act and interact.
In her keynote at Product at Heart 2024, Kate Leto dove into a compelling perspective on product management: our personal stories shape our professional lives, our interactions, and ultimately, the products we create.
Her talk challenged product leaders to understand the roles their personal narratives play in shaping team dynamics, decision-making, and innovation. Leto identified three common roles for such narratives: the Hero, the Victim, and the Villain. These patterns are the frameworks through which many of us filter our work experiences.
The Hero, the Victim, and the Villain
Drawing from the Karpman Drama Triangle, Kate described how each role emerges in work settings. The Hero is the self-appointed savior, swooping in to fix problems often at a personal cost. The Victim feels stuck, attributing circumstances to luck or helplessness, while the Villain points fingers, placing blame on others.
“The stories we tell ourselves shape what’s possible” Kate stated. They restrict our potential for positive outcome and true collaboration if left unchecked. But if they can restrict ourselves, they can also do the opposite and empower us.
Finding Purpose and Changing the Narrative
Kate then introduced a transformative way of seeing these stories not as inherent flaws but as patterns we can actively understand and change. Stories are features, not bugs. And we are in power to purposefully invent the stories we need.
She urged us to reflect on our inner dialogue and identify the underlying patterns shaping our thoughts and actions.
With purpose as a driving force, Leto proposed shifting away from the restrictive Drama Triangle towards an Empowerment Triangle, which reframes the Hero, Victim, and Villain into more constructive roles: the Coach, Creator, and Challenger. The Coach asks, “How can I help?” The Creator seeks options instead of barriers, and the Challenger stands as a supportive yet critical ally, pushing for growth rather than blame.
Building a Practice: Going “Above the Line”
The heart of Leto’s message was about making deliberate choices in everyday interactions. She introduced the concept of the “Line,” which divides above-the-line and below-the-line behaviors. Above the line, people are committed to learning, staying open, curious, and outcome-focused, while below the line, they tend to be defensive, anxiety-based, and problem-focused.
Recognizing whether our internal narratives operate above or below the line, is the first step to reshaping them. Kate advised that we should build a practice of taking a few minutes between meetings to assess our emotional state, noting any recurring roles, and reflecting on the triggers that push us below the line.
Once we recognise our story, we can ask where to go and how to get there.
Changing your Story
Leto shared actionable practices for product leaders to rewrite our narratives. First, she suggested the “Give Yourself an A” exercise: create a positive vision for new possibilities. Write a letter to your future self, outlining the growth and shifts you want to see. This simple exercise helps frame goals in a forward-thinking, optimistic light.
Another tool, the “15% Rule,” helps us move towards that positive vision. It suggests that the story is your comfort zone. And that rather than aiming for drastic changes that can feel overwhelming, you are better off taking small, manageable steps — just 15% beyond what feels safe. This experimentation builds momentum, giving us evidence to stretch further with each iteration.
It’s all invented (by you)!
By understanding, reflecting on, and actively evolving our personal narratives, we can not only transform our own experiences but also foster healthier, more innovative, and effective product environments.
“The future of products begins with the stories we choose to tell ourselves today.”
Here are the key takeaways from Kate’s talk:
Identify Personal Patterns: Recognize whether you're playing the Hero, Victim, or Villain in challenging situations.
Embrace Empowerment Roles: Shift towards being a Coach, Creator, or Challenger to foster positive team dynamics.
Go “Above the Line”: Aim to operate from a place of openness, curiosity, and learning.
Own Your Story: Craft a narrative of success, envision your future, and shape your role accordingly.
Experiment with the 15% Rule: Take small steps outside your comfort zone to build growth gradually.
In “It’s All Invented,” Kate Leto delivered a message that went beyond typical product management strategy. By examining and reshaping our personal narratives, we hold the power to not only change our careers but also shape the products and experiences we bring into the world.
Identify patterns.
Understand purpose.
Invent new possibilities.
